Not So Lonely Island
by Maesdream
Summary: As usual I was the one responsible for keeping her under control... what really happened that second night on the lone island. Warning for adult content and lemon. HaruhixKyon TwoShot
1. Chapter 1

Not So Lonely Island - Part I

Rated M for a reason - fair warning that there will be lemons.

_I don't own any of the Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu characters…_

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o.O.o.O.o.O.o 

_Hi, my name is Kyon and I have an ear fetish._

_-Hello, Kyon-_

At least, that's how it would go if anyone found out. Thankfully only Haruhi knows and considering the circumstances… I really don't think she'll be saying anything.

Ahem.

I guess I should back up a little.

If I had to blame anyone, I'd blame that damn Koizumi – he's the one that got us out on that deserted island. But, if nothing else it was a trip of firsts. And, surprisingly trying alcohol wasn't even the most monumental. Though you could probably call it a catalyst of sorts.

As far as I know, the after-dinner wine experiment was all of our first time with drinking, though it was immediately obvious that some of us were more suited to it than others. Koizumi and Nagato might as well have been experts, though there isn't anywhere I know of that serves alcohol to minors for them to gain such experience.

The first night passed without any _major_ incidents. Perhaps that's why I let my guard down the second night. You could call that mistake #1.

Koizumi had long since departed for his room with a vaguely suspicious excuse; Nagato had taken her book upstairs, looking for all the world as though she'd had only a sip of wine… and not most of a bottle. Asahina-san had somewhat dizzily volunteered to check on my sister nearly an hour ago. Apparently she had decided sleep sounded good to her too since we hadn't seen her since.

Quite honestly sleep sounded pretty good to me too, but I was wary about leaving Haruhi alone. Especially a drunken Haruhi. She plopped her empty glass down loudly on the table and swung an annoyed gaze in my direction.

"We've been here two days already and nothing even slightly mysterious has happened!"

She jumped up – to her credit she swayed only slightly before regaining her balance – "C'mon Kyon, we have a duty to the SOS Brigade… to investigate!"

_You're kidding, right?_ "You realize it's nearly 2 a.m.?"

"All the better for suspicious events."

"And that it's pouring rain?"

She looked at me as though I was crazy to even consider something so trivial, "We can't let a little rain stop our mission!"

Leave it to Haruhi to consider an impending tropical storm 'a little rain.' I sighed, wondering at that point if I was any better than Koizumi. Or maybe he was the smart one – giving in immediately – while I struggled against her iron will like an ant pushing a dumbbell.

I could blame the booze but I wouldn't be fooling anyone. Mistake #2? I'm going to lose count.

As so, with flashlights and umbrellas "borrowed" from our host's mud room, we set out. It was pitch black, the pitiful beam from our flashlights barely making it three feet in front of us. Unfortunately the alcohol had granted Haruhi an extra boost of recklessness… but not the motor skills to go with it. The rain was coming down in such a flood that there were pools of water spreading all over the ground.

After the third time of her slipping and nearly dragging me down with her, I attempted to steer her back in the direction of the mansion.

"Ooh, Kyon, wait – I saw something!"

_Somehow I doubt it, but I'll look if only to get you to shut up and come home - - AHH – what the hell is that!!?_

"I don't know – let's find out!"

Judging from the scary glowing eyes I don't particularly care if it's a wild animal or an authentic mystery - either way I don't want anything to do with it.

Of course true to form she was already crawling through the bushes to investigate.

"Wait, Haruhi!"

Dammit.

I had no choice but to follow. With her head start she rapidly slipped out of my view. Then I heard the scream. _Good lord, Haruhi, keep that up and the whole house will be awake._

"What? Did you find someth—"

Oh, I see; yuck.

I'm not sure it was worth screaming about, but I'll admit it was pretty awful. It must have been a native plant or something, because as soon as I passed the tall, slightly deformed-looking tree my entire body felt like it had been doused with ice-cold slime. Only stickier.

Haruhi was wiping futilely at her legs, the weird substance only clinging more tenaciously in the face of her efforts.

I grabbed her hand, "C'mon – I'm not sure if this stuff is toxic, but we'd better get it off as quickly as possible."

For once not putting up an argument, she matched my quick pace, muttering the entire time. Mostly cursing the unfairness of a mystery with a built in self-defense mechanism.

_Well doesn't that just make it even more odd, missy?_

Once we made it back, we did our best to complete the trek upstairs without leaving the stickiness all over the house, but top priority was getting to the shower. It hit me at the top of the stairs.

'_Shower.' _

Singular.

"Haruhi… there's only one shower that works on this floor."

- - - - -


	2. Chapter 2

_Enjoy the second half - this is where the lemon advisory really kicks in, you've been warned 8D_

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far!_

_A special thanks to Theos Amneos whose comments and suggestions have helped make this story even better. Final editing complete on 2-17-08. _

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Part II 

"**Haruhi… there's only one shower that works on this floor."**

**- - -**

"Fine! Ladies first -- you can wait."

_Selfish_.

"No way," I protested, "What if this stuff is a toxin that's eating away at my skin!? Besides, we're just wasting time arguing."

I shuffled her into the bathroom, closing and locking the door.

"What do you think you're doing!?" she demanded.

I pulled off my shirt, "Showering." I turned on the hot water. "If we leave our underwear on it's just like swimming, right?"

She looked dubious for a moment, but then shrugged. I didn't know if I should thank the alcohol or the fact that she was the same girl that saw no issues with changing in front of an entire classroom. Either way, I hopped into the steam before she pulled her top off. Might as well give the illusion of privacy. Plus I could use a moment to collect my thoughts now that I fully grasped what I had just done. At least with the shower running I could blame any blushing on the hot water.

I immediately lathered up, nearly sighing in relief at the prospect of getting clean. I was hard at work scrubbing my shoulder when I heard her behind me. I held my breath, but needn't have worried. Without hesitation she pushed past me, my skin like a flash fire where our bodies touched. I hadn't realized how small the shower really was – until I was in it, with a nearly naked girl. Just like swimming? Seriously, who was I kidding?

Seemingly unaffected, she forcefully maneuvered in front of me, "Alright, you've had a turn, move over a little!"

I could have shut my eyes. But then, how would I see to scrub? Right.

Of course instead of scrubbing, most of my attention went into memorizing the way the dark purple fabric clung to the curves of her damp skin. And how the striped panties rode low on her hips and were cut just right to give a tempting view of her backside. A particular drop of water held my gaze as it made its way down her back, curving in at her waist and then back out before trailing down her leg.

As if sensing my sordid thoughts she whirled around, pointing a finger at me, completely heedless of where she flung blobs of soap bubbles. "Why do I get the feeling someone's boring holes in the back of my... head..." Her normal enthusiasm trailed off and I watched her eyes flicker over me. She blinked a couple times and a faint pink hue spread over her cheeks.

_What kind of double standard is this where you can stare but I can't?_

"Well, I'm not closing my eyes so you'd better get over it." I retorted, seeming to startle her out of her daze.

In response she harumphed and spun back around.

At this point I was completely covered in soap and really wanted to rinse, but I probably could have survived with a towel dry. Instead I waited for my turn under the water. Mistake #3? Without a doubt.

Because at precisely that point Haruhi began washing her hair. Requiring her to pull all her hair up on top of her head. You might think the reason I liked her hair up was a ponytail fetish, or even something like a weird vampire/neck fetish. Nope, it was the ears. The logical part of my brain told me there was nothing inherently sexual in ears. But my perverted side had some strong arguments. Like the way they curved down, forming that perfect spot against her neck. Or the sounds she would make if I were to - - woah, hold it right there. I knew it was time to retreat – I was even planning on it. But then…

"Kyon, I can't get at this spot on my back, it's driving me crazy!"

That.

Instantaneously I weighed the risks of proceeding versus the penalty I would surely receive for refusal. Needless to say I edged closer, dabbing tentatively at her upper back with my sponge like I was dusting an extremely fragile figurine.

She squirmed, "No, no, farther down!"

_You will surely be the death of me, you realize that don't you?_

"Well, I can't help that girls don't have weirdly long arms like guys do!"

Rolling my eyes, I moved the sponge just below her bra line, trying to keep my eyes focused on that one spot. She wiggled a bit more, perilously close to the front of my boxers and I edged the sponge lower, relieved when her shoulders relaxed and she hummed approval. As she returned to her original task, I followed her movements like a moth foolishly drawn to light. The suds from her shampoo bled down over her right ear and my scrubbing slowed as my pulse spiked. She leaned back to avoid getting the lather in her eyes, her soft shoulder brushing against my chest and I was done. I dropped the sponge and she didn't even have time to voice a complaint at the loss of cleansing before I brushed the suds from her ear and pressed my mouth against it.

I felt her tense and her body grow extremely still. Before I could decide whether I should run for my life or commit a very dramatic seppuku … she moaned.

It was a quiet sound and slightly different from what I had imagined, but it still made my blood boil. Almost of their own accord, I pulled her lobe between my lips, flicking my tongue out for a taste. She tilted her head slightly to the left, granting me even better access as the damp skin of her back slid against my soap covered chest. I nibbled a bit as I worked my way back up, no longer caring if she found out what this was doing to me. Despite the unusual company I keep, you've gotta remember, I'm just a normal guy.

Her backside brushed up against my, er, _front_side and she paused a moment. I knew I was in for it. "Wha-!?" She wiggled a little bit more, as if trying to confirm her suspicions. "Oh, what's the matter Kyon?" she teased, "I thought you said this would be just like swimming…"

Hands sliding down to her hips, I pulled her against me, leaving no doubt as to what was pressing against her flesh, "Well you looked pretty damn good then, too."

"Pervert." But she didn't sound annoyed and she didn't pull away. In fact, I suddenly felt soft fingers grabbing on to _my_ hips.

Somewhat reluctantly I released her ear, but forgot almost immediately as she wiggled around until she was facing me. Dark eyes pinned me in place, looking almost as though she was trying to communicate telepathically. Her face was flushed and her breath was ragged but her gaze never faltered – she looked serious, her eyes narrowed in contemplation.

"You know, Kyon, you could've just asked me to spend the night in your room!"

_What!?_ "Hey, that's not at all how it –" And then whatever debate she'd been going through was over and her lips were on mine. In that instant all that mattered was getting her as close as possible. Apparently she felt the same. Hands on my shoulders, she easily pulled herself up, wrapping her legs securely around my waist.

_Hey, a little warning might be nice. Good thing you don't weigh very much._

She broke off the kiss, "Good thing you didn't drop me!"

I considered a rebuttal but the feel of her little teeth tugging on my ear sent all rational thoughts fleeing. Seems the ear fetish goes both way – although I suppose the little incident with poor Mikuru should have clued me in to that. I'm sure the shower was still on but at the moment I barely noticed. I bit back a moan as she returned the favor of her full attention on my lobe. I had to get her attention away or I was seriously going to lose it. So I did the only logical thing under the circumstances: I grabbed on to her butt. It did the trick; she let out an indignant squeak at first, but her gaze quickly turned appreciative.

"Wow, Kyon, I had no idea!"

_Alright, missy I don't need your sarcastic commentary at the moment._

She opened her mouth to reply but I stopped her, returning the unfinished kiss. I think she tried to say something but all that came out was "mmph mrrphh." Since her mouth was open it seemed like as good a time as any to slip my tongue over to the tempting territory that was Haruhi's mouth. She didn't try to comment after that point. Instead her attention seemed focused on mapping out the parts of my body she could reach from her current position. My shoulders, back, neck and scalp all succumbed to her explorations.

At this point I had her pressed up against the shower wall – no, not because I'm a total pervert - just to make sure I didn't lose my balance. Is this self-delusion working on anyone else? Whatever.

Her legs tightened their grip and when she started to grind up against me I couldn't help but reciprocate the gesture. I had been trying to remain calm but knowing that the only thing between us was two very wet, very thin pieces of fabric was wreaking havoc on my self-control. Either she didn't notice or just didn't care; probably the latter.

As usual it fell upon me to be the reasonable one in the group. Fully aware I was putting myself at risk of being left in an extremely uncomfortable situation, I had to ask.

But how? _So, Haruhi, do you really wanna get busy in a 4 foot by 4 foot shower?_ Yeah, that would go over well. I let my head rest against the wall of the shower, still breathing heavily. I was jerked out of my thoughts by her lips wrapping around the rim of my ear.

"Changing your mind now?"

"No! I mean, unless…" _Damn._

She smirked and pulled a small square packet from her bra and slipped it into my hand, "Safety first!"

I could only stare as she grinned at me as if we were discussing the advisability of not running with scissors, and not… well, something entirely different, that's for sure.

_Do I even want to know why you have this? And in your bra?? Or does it just mean this is all part of your master plan?_

"It was in your wallet so I figured you wouldn't mind!"

_Hey I only had that because Taniguchi was handing them out and I only kept it to keep him quiet._

Her skin rubbed against mine, reminding me of exactly what I was holding… and in some Haruhi-esque way it all made sense. I felt around for the fastening I had noticed earlier, trying to recall the "advice" my friends had thrown around as if _they _had any real experience. After two attempted pinch-squeezes, the device was defeated, thin straps sliding down her arms to land on the tiled floor.

It was a rare sight to see Haruhi Suzumiya blush, even faintly, and I couldn't hold back the swell of male pride at being the one to do it. But true to form she met my gaze boldly despite her pink face. I pressed my palm to her breast, delighting in the way the soft flesh melded to my fingers. Her back arched into my touch as I brushed a thumb over her nipple and she made that amazing moaning sound again. The most perverted part of my brain scolded me for having waited so long to do this.

I was so wrapped up in the delights of Haruhi's breasts, I failed to notice that she'd been inching my boxers down past my hips until they were in a soggy heap next to the discarded bra. Soft fingers brushed over me and I gasped in pleasure. Apparently pleased with the results, she continued her ministrations, giving me the encouragement I needed to confront the most daunting piece of clothing I'd ever faced.

Purple and white striped panties.

Taking my cue from her - please don't say "as usual" - I gave a slight downward tug on the garment. Thankfully Haruhi merely stepped out of them without a second glance.

My left hand still enjoying its spot atop her right breast, I sent my right hand on a perilous journey between her legs. The last thing I wanted was mocking commentary so I found her mouth, her tongue immediately brushing against mine hotly. I slid one finger into her and then a second, making it a tight fit. I felt her inhale and tense up momentarily before shifting her hips towards me. I acquiesced to her silent request, pumping my fingers in and out of her slick warmth as she made little panting noises against my mouth. Pressing my fingers against her inner walls, I continued my pursuit before pulling my fingers out and sliding them up to circle around her swollen nub. Her panting turned to gasps and I ignored the pain of her nails digging into my shoulder. She looked amazing, her face flushed and eyes squeezed shut in delight.

Throughout, her fingers continued to make stroking motions and I could barely restrain my hips from thrusting into her small hand. I know for sure I echoed her moans.

_Ah, that's it, Haruhi… that's ---- ohshit!_ I jumped, startling her but escaping what had nearly been a humiliating experience – one which I'm sure my leader wouldn't have let me forget.

"What!?" she demanded irritably, no doubt put off by the sudden interruption.

I raised the hand holding the condom as if in explanation, "I thought I should, you know."

She put her hands on her hips. I knew at that moment I would never be able to see her do that without picturing her naked. "Well, you should've just said so!"

I shrugged, unable to think coherently and slid the protective item in place. She looked a little lost for a moment – probably trying to figure out how to drag me around while I wasn't wearing a tie. Inwardly I cringed at the alternative, but thankfully she settled for grabbing my arms and dragging me over in a fierce kiss.

I ran a hand down her back, giving her rear a small squeeze, before lifting her leg to wrap it around my waist as I pinned her to the wall. Positioning myself at her entrance, our eyes met, not unlike the time she tried to send me "energy" although right now there was already plenty of that, if you ask me. She gave a slight nod and I took a deep breath and then thrust quickly. I briefly paused and then grabbed her other leg and pushed in to the hilt.

She gasped and I concentrated on summoning every ounce of control I possessed as she shifted around, seemingly in an effort to find a comfortable spot – once again nearly driving me over the edge – until finally her legs tightened their grip around my waist. She gave a tentative thrust, testing out the angle, followed by a soft "mmmm" and suddenly we were both at the mercy of our hormones. She bucked against me and I drove into her, smushing her breasts against my chest as her moans intensified. Considering that the rest of the house was asleep, I wanted to tell her to pipe the heck down, but higher brain functions were apparently beyond my grasp since all that came out was a low groan.

She found my lips, and we kissed desperately as our lower bodies quickly learned how to move in unison. Still supporting her with one arm, I cupped her breast with my free hand, giving the nipple a quick pinch before returning to a massaging motion. As long as I didn't think about the ramifications, I could _really _get used to this.

I moved my attention back to her ear, enjoying the way her breathing hitched and her gasps continued to quicken and become higher pitched. I pressed on, thrusting deeply and rhythmically as she moved against me in an alternating motion. I was determined to hold out – I didn't even want to consider the penalty that would likely result from such failure. Fingers grasped and slid against wet skin, trailing down her smooth stomach. My thumb brushed over her sensitive flesh and she arched her back off the tiled wall, grinding repeatedly into my touch, her muffled cry soon mingling with my own as we rode the waves of pleasure that swept over us.

It took a few moments before I was capable of thinking again, never mind moving. She shifted in my arms and I gently helped her regain her footing, then bent down to shut off the shower realizing she hadn't made any of her usual comments. She looked a little thoughtful but there was definitely a smile playing on her lips as she began to wring the water out of her hair.

My inner pervert congratulated me on rendering Haruhi Suzumiya speechless. And requested I do it again frequently.

I reached out of the shower to grab a towel and nearly fell over at the sudden sound of loud knocking on the bathroom door. Thank god I locked that. I handed her a towel.

"_Is everything okay in there?" _

Damn that Koizumi to the depths of_– _

"_Hello – anyone in there?"_

Silently I beseeched Haruhi to stay quiet as I spoke in the direction of the door, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine – almost done."

"_Oh, Kyon-kun, w-we were so worried… a-although we, um, still c-can't find Suzumiya-san…"_

Sweet Asahina-san, always so considerate of others –

"Don't worry - I'm fine, Mikuru-chan!"

I twirled around, "Not helping," I hissed. She merely shrugged and went back to toweling her hair.

Koizumi could be heard coughing politely, "Oh – I understand; well, in that case we will return to our rooms."

Smug bastard – I could practically hear him smirking. And poor Ashahina-san – I heard her soft whimper and then all was quiet.

Silence.

How long were we standing there? 2? 3 hours? Okay, it was probably only 30 seconds but it sure felt like longer.

I couldn't quite bring myself to turn around. Well I guess that answers the question of whether to tell the others. Did she want them to know? She could have kept her mouth shut.

Just at the point where I was nearly ready to rip my hair out, run away or possibly both, my thinking was interrupted by a soft bite on my right ear and something even softer pressing against my back. "You know, since everyone's gone back to their rooms..."

My brain did a double take but my other head immediately came to attention, having rapidly become yet another of Suzumiya's minions.

I turned around, pulling her towards me as her towel fell away, "I guess this means you won't be biting anyone else's ears…" I muttered.

She narrowed her eyes, "That goes double for you!"

I can live with that.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

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A/N: Well, there's my second lemon - hopefully I'm improving! All comments and _constructive_ criticism welcome :-) 


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